did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
