I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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