I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
