If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
