Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
