You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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