You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
