No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
