Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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