She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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