STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
