it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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