you win again, gameday.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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