i love accidental penises.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
