he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
