I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
