I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
