My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
