she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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