I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
