I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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