sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
