Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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