What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
