My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
