Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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