i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
