Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
