walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
