After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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