Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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