Where is the hickey?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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