He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
