you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
