We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
