HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
