Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
