doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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