Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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