No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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