I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
