Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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