is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
