apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
