how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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