He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
