Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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