Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
