Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
