well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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