So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
