I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
